Saturday, June 11, 2011

Binned policies

Once again, the British government are in trouble for abandoning their policies, this time for backing down in the face of council opposition to reintroducing weekly rubbish collections.

For those not up to date with British life, the inhabitants of that fair isle have been suffering unbearably under a clearly misguided government policy to allow rubbish collections only every second week, and to force people to recycle anything recyclable.

Some explanation is required for the benefit of those who, like me, live in a country where exactly this policy has been very successful for at least a couple of decades now, and has byzantine rules involving exactly what must go into yellow sacks, what must go into blue bins, what must be returned to the store and what must be taken to which rubbish tip or bottle bank. You see, what for Germans is a chore is for the British near slavery: in the words of the Communities Secretary, the corpulant and delightfully-named Eric Pickles, weekly collections are “a basic right for every Englishman and woman” — what he thinks the Welsh, Irish and Scottish people are entitled to was left unclear.

But yes, it is the absolute undeniable right of all English people not to have to worry about where to put two dozen million tons of rubbish every year when the landfills fill up. This is every bit as important as free speech, access to education and Britain’s Got Talent. The defeat of the government at the hands of local councils is just another stage in the slow but inevitable slide into anarchy, communism and fascism (all three at the same time, it’s that serious).

It is fundamental to the very essence of Britishness that 57% of all rubbish goes to landfill sites. If Germans think they can get by with a measly 1%, that’s their business, and no doubt they’ll pay for it later, you’ll see. One day, stinking garbage will become a valuable resource for powering time machines made out of DeLoreans, and then we’ll see how smug those Teutonic grins are, won’t we?

UPDATE: Apparently, reports of a U-turn have been exaggerated.

1 comment:

  1. Ist zwar noch nicht gerade Standard, aber mittlerweile werden Müllsortieranlagen angeboten, die das Mülltrennen zuhause hinfällig machen.
    In Chemnitz z.B. steht eine der modernsten Deutschlands, die alle Abfälle sauber trennt.
    Das Ergebnis: Blaue Tonne, Gelber Sack, Braune Tonne und Restmüll werden zwar getrennt von der Müllabfuhr eingesammelt,
    aber in der Abfallverwertung wieder zusammengeschüttet und dann aus dem Gemisch alle recyclebaren Bestandteile maschinell abgetrennt. Der Rest wandert in die Verbrennung.

    Warum wird dann überhaupt noch der Müll getrennt gesammelt? Ganz einfach:
    Ältere Sortiermaschinen funktionierten noch nicht so gut und brauchten vorgetrennten Müll. Diese Maschinen sind vielerorts noch in Gebrauch.
    Teilweise mussten Fremdbestandteile sogar von Hand am Fließband herausgelesen werden. Diesen Arbeitern zuliebe also das Joghurtbecherabwaschen ;)

    Wenn in Großbritannien die Wertstoffrückgewinnung jetzt erst massiv verbessert werden soll,
    warum setzt man dann nicht gleich auf die modernen Sortieranlagen und spart den Leuten das Müllsortieren zuhause?
    Zu teuer? Oder geht es, wie bei der Energiesparbirne, eher um das gute grüne Gewissen der Bürger?