Thursday, March 10, 2016

Bonnie’s moustache

I have two cats called, with staggering originality, Bonnie and Clyde. Some of you no doubt know this already, but for the sake of those who don’t, Clyde is black and Bonnie is all black-and-white blotches. It’s useful, as it helps us to tell them apart.

One of Bonnie’s distinctive features is a black smudge on her top lip, which often elicits comment. Here’s a mugshot:

This shouldn’t really be an issue, of course, but there’s no end of people who draw comparisons between her upper lip and the facial hair of Adolf Hitler. Personally, I think that’s unfair (although I will concede that in this photo, she does strike a distinctly Hitlerish pose). If I thought she did look like the notorious dictator, I would submit that photo to the website Cats That Look Like Hitler, but I don’t think she does. Not unless somebody can find a picture of Adolf after a hilarious shaving accident.

My wife has more problems with this than I do. When describing Bonnie to other people, she’ll go all coy and say, “She has half of a... well, the only way I can describe it is half a Hitler moustache,” and then apologize profusely for mentioning him who should not be mentioned (not to be confused with him who should not be named). I have suggested she describe it as a Charlie Chaplin moustache, but she seems to prefer social awkwardness.

Be that as it may: whenever Bonnie has a cameo in one of my videos, I can be sure that somebody is going to mention my “Hitler cat”. If you do, that is your right: just know that she is, in fact, half a Chaplin cat. (We don’t know what the other half is, but it has us scared enough without invoking Hitler.)

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